Wednesday, May 17, 2006

CaC 1: Carnival Cruises vs. Cool Whip

With this being the inaugural CaC post and all, we thought we'd make it a good one. So here it goes. Throughout life, there are many important decisions that human beings must make. An example of such a decision is the classic quandary, "Carnival Cruises or Cool Whip?" To the casual eye, these two stalwarts of their respective industries might seem like identical twins. However, upon taking a closer look, there are many things that are different between Carnival Cruises and Cool Whip. To begin, Carnival Cruise ships and Cool Whip are both white. This is so they can keep their contents (passengers and sugary goodness, respectively) in good condition. Also, Carnival Cruises are cool, and so is Cool Whip. Finally, Carnival Cruise ships float and so do Cool Whip packages when empty. However, as we look beyond their exteriors, we can plainly see the many differences between the two contenders. Carnival Cruises offer fun for the whole family, while Cool Whip is prejudiced against the lactose-intolerant. When it comes to fun, Cool Whip easily outperforms Carnival Cruises. While a Carnival Cruise can only be enjoyed where water is present, Cool Whip can be enjoyed anywhere, even space. Cool Whip has been taken to space and the moon on various occasions, sometimes with astronauts, other times with cosmonauts. Cool Whip currently holds a position on the NASA Welcoming Satellite, which will give any extra-terrestrials an idea of what to expect on our fair planet. In conclusion, when Carnival Cruises face off against Cool Whip, the real winner is the consumer. Thank you Carnival Cruises and Cool Whip, and thank you, reader, for reading.

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