Sunday, May 21, 2006

CaC 4: The South Beach Diet vs. Water Slides

Every now and then, we here ar CaC come across one object that doesn't stand a chance against the other. Such is the case with the South Beach Diet and Water Slides. First of all, water slides are tons of fun. The South Beach Diet isn't fun at all. Also, children can slide down water slides. Children have never been able to slide down the South Beach Diet. About the only thing that these to objects have in common is their color. Then again, the South Beach Diet does have one thing going for it, and that's the fact that their isn't a line to get to the South Beach Diet. In closing, this wasn't really a fair comparison. The South Beach Diet and water slides are like apples and oranges.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

CaC 3: Leonardo da Vinci vs. Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger

The other day, an orphaned boy asked me what the difference was between Leonardo da Vinci and a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy's. Since I strongly believe that children are our future, I thought I'd delve into the issue (this one's for you Bobby Everykid). First off, both da Vinci and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger are well-known. Da Vinci's name is in the title of the book, The Da Vinci Code. The author of the book, Dan Brown, is a well-known Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger enthusiast. Also, Wendy's serves Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers until 12 A.M., and da Vinci lived in the 12th century. Coincidence? I think not. However, Leonardo da Vinci had a beard. Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers do not have beards, nor will they ever. On the other hand, while Mr. da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, it is a little-known fact that Ms. Lisa became famous from her passion for Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, and in fact named her daughter Mona Wendy. Leonardo was the name of the "coolest" Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, while the closet Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger has ever come to children's action hero was as the blue ranger on Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy. In closing, both da Vinci and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers are somewhat of an acquired taste, but perseverance definitely pays off.

CaC 2: Phillip K. Dick's "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" vs. Tiger's "game.com" handheld

Almost everyday, I have people come up to me on the street and ask "Which should I buy: Phillip K. Dick's classic novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" or Tiger's influential handheld, the game.com?" I sometimes have a tough time answering because they sound so similar, but upon further research, I discovered that Phillip's book and Tiger's handheld are very different. First off, although both are rectangular in nature, they are composed of entirely different materials. Phillip's novel is made out of paper, and the game.com is made out of some hard, plastic substance. Secondly, they both smell different. Sure they both have a smell, but these two smells are very different nature. The book smells strongly of paper and must, while the game.com smells kind of like silicon and bad batteries. Lastly and most importantly, Phillip K. Dick's novel was made into a movie, "Blade Runner," while Tiger's game.com never even appeared on television, let alone the silver screen. In fact, some say the game.com never even existed, chalking up any magazine advertisements to cruel pranks. I know this isn't true because I have one...a game.com that is, not a magazine advertisement for one. In all these ways, one will hopefully find that Phillip K. Dick's most famous novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" and Tiger's game.com are very different, which I hope will influence which product to buy.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

CaC 1: Carnival Cruises vs. Cool Whip

With this being the inaugural CaC post and all, we thought we'd make it a good one. So here it goes. Throughout life, there are many important decisions that human beings must make. An example of such a decision is the classic quandary, "Carnival Cruises or Cool Whip?" To the casual eye, these two stalwarts of their respective industries might seem like identical twins. However, upon taking a closer look, there are many things that are different between Carnival Cruises and Cool Whip. To begin, Carnival Cruise ships and Cool Whip are both white. This is so they can keep their contents (passengers and sugary goodness, respectively) in good condition. Also, Carnival Cruises are cool, and so is Cool Whip. Finally, Carnival Cruise ships float and so do Cool Whip packages when empty. However, as we look beyond their exteriors, we can plainly see the many differences between the two contenders. Carnival Cruises offer fun for the whole family, while Cool Whip is prejudiced against the lactose-intolerant. When it comes to fun, Cool Whip easily outperforms Carnival Cruises. While a Carnival Cruise can only be enjoyed where water is present, Cool Whip can be enjoyed anywhere, even space. Cool Whip has been taken to space and the moon on various occasions, sometimes with astronauts, other times with cosmonauts. Cool Whip currently holds a position on the NASA Welcoming Satellite, which will give any extra-terrestrials an idea of what to expect on our fair planet. In conclusion, when Carnival Cruises face off against Cool Whip, the real winner is the consumer. Thank you Carnival Cruises and Cool Whip, and thank you, reader, for reading.